The inner voices.

I was going to take the day off from getting a workout in. However, here I am. It’s depressing at home trying to figure out how to help my elderly parent not feel depressed and lonely. So this is one my ways to escape.

It’s funny. Today I’m feeling a little self conscious being around all the fit bodies today. I know it’s just one of those inner voices trying to screw with my head today. People here are too busy looking at their progress in the mirrors to notice me. Which is what I’m telling the inner voice, I’m not paying attention to them.

But part of me is. Oh well. Just have to push a good workout through.

At least I’m no longer this guy. On the outside anyways. Inside some of the same doubts and insecurities still show up at times.

I just have to see how far I’ve come and kick those thoughts out of my head every time they show up. I know I still have progress to make but if I allow the voices inside tell me I’m a failure and I’m not going to make it. If I can’t look back and see that I’ve come a long way from where I started, the voices win.

Can’t let that happen. Can’t let the insecure parts win the argument. Got to beat them into submission and tell them I am in charge of my thoughts.

The world keeps walking around in fear of an unseen virus. They’re afraid to make human contact. They stay in isolation and let fear take over. They’re miserable. They sit on a couch and stuff themselves with foods that aren’t good for them. They look in the mirror. They’re miserable.

Not for me! Going to do everything I can to stay as healthy as possible. If one thing the hysterical world we now live in teaches me. I am going to stand up for my rights. My right to live my life. To not live in constant fear.

People are so afraid of dying. They aren’t living to begin with. They are like mass. They exist and take up space.

I’ve lived with a fear. That I would be on my deathbed filled with regret about things I did not do. There are times I feel that’s the ending I am going to have. That I’m being dragged towards that. Well, I’m going to fight to not be that guy.

What about you?

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